Lions and tigers and beers, oh my!

A quick riddle: what do you get when you combine two thousand urbanites fresh off a long day at work, a copious amount of premium beer and a park full of endangered species? Unfortunately, it’s not a drunken reenactment of the stampede scene from the film "Jumanji." Welcome to “Brew at the Zoo,” the National Zoo’s annual summer beer tasting event.

The fourth annual Brew at the Zoo took place last week, hosted by the Smithsonian Institute’s Friends of the National Zoo (FONZ) Young Professionals. The sold out event featured tastings from 26 local, national and international breweries, hors d’oeuvres from 16 Metro area restaurants and music from two D.C. indie bands. This year’s Brew also offered a brand new VIP option, including full-bottle beer samples at two private bars, unlimited pizza from Armand’s, two up-close animal demonstrations, a discussion with one of the brewmasters and a commemorative t-shirt.

As if the description isn’t enough to spark your interest, the entire event is for charity. All proceeds support the Zoo’s animal care, conservation science, education and sustainability programs. All of the booze, food and time are donated for the event, which allowed FONZ to raise over $60,000 last year. In other words, you can sit proudly at your desk Friday morning knowing that both the ticket cost and your killer hangover are for a truly noble cause.

I know what you’re thinking - Brew at the Zoo seems like the perfect opportunity to live out your dreams of one day sharing a beer with a Spider Monkey or playing drinking games in the Giant Panda den (well - at least they're my dreams). It's not that kind of party. Even if it were, despite their cuddly exterior, it's a well-known fact that pandas are actually ferocious, belligerent drunks.

http://dc.metromix.com/events/article/lions-and-tigers-and/574981/content

Swept away by Current (review)

If you’re a seasoned veteran of the D.C. club scene, chances are you dropped a few tears into your saketini last May when Dupont Circle’s Dragonfly closed its doors for renovations. Well you can finally dry your eyes and lay out your Saturday night best; the chic sushi bar/nightclub hybrid has returned to Connecticut Avenue, albeit under a new name and a fresh, ultramodern aquatic-inspired design.

Enter Current, the latest brainchild from the local nightlife gurus behind Eighteenth Street Lounge and Local 16. The club unveiled its new digs last week, fully conscious of the massive proverbial shoes it was set to fill. At first glance, Current has noticeably taken a few pages out of its predecessor’s book. It retains the general concept of Dragonfly, infusing gourmet sushi, potent cocktails, pulsating music, sleek modern décor and voguing clientele. But other than that, it’s been a veritable overhaul.

Décor: While Dragonfly openly embraced its Far East motif, Current weaves a subtle aquatic theme into its décor. Each of the club’s three bars (two alcohol, one sushi) is decorated with an artistically lit black and white wave pattern, while two water-filled glass windows on the upstairs floor allow VIP clubbers to peer down upon the plebians in the lounge below. A flashy lighting scheme illuminates whitewashed walls, leaving most of the venue in a faint bluish hue. Interestingly enough, the silent projections of kung fu and anime scenes that defined Dragonfly have been replaced with a calming slideshow of sailing imagery.

Drinks: Cocktails run a tad on the expensive side, but generally up to par with similar scenes in the area. Most beers will set you back $7, harder stuff around $10.

Food: Current is a rare blend of essential metropolitan lifestyles -- a hip night club and an upscale sushi restaurant. In addition to a surprisingly affordable list of nigiri and rolls (ranging from $5-9 per roll) the nightly dinner menu features finger-sized international fare, with tasty offerings like salmon ceviche and grilled beef skewers.

Crowd: Young, hip and beautiful; but that’s pretty much assumed when you’re going to an upscale club on Connecticut Avenue. Image-conscious mid-to-late-20-somethings is definitely the target demographic.

Service: The staff, like the clientele, is gorgeous. Most bartenders are thorough and take one drink order at a time, which can result in a slight wait at the bar when the venue reaches full capacity. But with all the eye candy around, you won’t see many patrons complaining.

Sounds: Predominantly poppy-house (think Justin Timberlake meets Bob Sinclair) with the occasional classic rock remix thrown in to keep the crowd guessing. The sound system is top-notch and the lack of a defined dance floor doesn't stop the crowds from getting up and grooving.

Dress Code: Given the décor and the clientele, you’ll want to look your best. Let alone simply feeling comfortable enough to mingle, you’ll have trouble getting through the door in anything less than “fashionable” attire. Translation: leave your tennis shoes, hats and athletic wear in the closet.

The Damage: As is the case with any upscale night club, the final tab will depend entirely on the way you approach the night. The cover can be steep if you come at the wrong time, but if you steer clear of the VIP tables and bottle service, you can manage a solid night for around $50. Give into the temptation of the baller thrills and, well, you better bring plastic.

Insider tips: Show up early (well before midnight) to avoid cover charges and long lines. Unlike most clubs in the neighborhood, the bouncers at Current are surprisingly amiable. Chat them up and see if you can forge a temporary friendship of strict utility.

On certain nights, Current also opens its guest list to online registration. Do your research before heading out. Getting your name on the list probably won’t help you get through the door any quicker, but it will allow you to move freely between floors once you’re inside.

Bottom line: As a nightclub or a sushi bar alone, Current probably isn't blazing any new trails. As a hybrid of the two, however, it’s sure to evolve into one of the most popular nightspots in Dupont Circle.

http://dc.metromix.com/bars-and-clubs/article/swept-away-by-current/567658/content

It's jazz, baby

It’s the birthplace of Duke Ellington. Legends like Miles Davis, Charlie Parker and Dizzy Gillespie all made significant recordings while touring through our fair city. Shirley Horn, Sonny Greer and Roberta Flack were all discovered on the stages of U Street’s storied jazz halls. Sure, D.C. wasn’t the birthplace of jazz, nor does the area have a definitive sound associated with its artists, but the nation’s capital has certainly left its historical mark on America’s most time-honored musical tradition.

But let’s face it. To most of us, jazz is a beloved yet wildly misunderstood art form. We adore the sounds, appreciate the skill, and marvel at the creativity – but ultimately have difficulty distinguishing the masters from the mediocre. For the average Washingtonian, a night at a jazz club is less a celebration of our proud musical history and more an excuse to sip down dirty martinis while indulging our oft-neglected artistic side.

Therein lies the true beauty of D.C.’s jazz culture. With an array of clubs varying in style, price, atmosphere and sound, you’re bound to find the perfect match for the sophistication of your taste and the size of your budget. Whether you’re a novice or an aficionado, on a date or looking to display your chops with the pros, Metromix has you covered for the best jazz in the District.

http://dc.metromix.com/music/article/its-jazz-baby/545311/content

Arlington's newest watering hole (Spider Kelly's review)

When Spider Kelly’s opened its doors last month, owners Nick Freshman and Nick Langman (of next door’s Clarendon Ballroom) had one goal in mind: a laid-back, dependable neighborhood bar in Clarendon where you can always come in for a burger and a beer. In that aspect, Spider Kelly’s has undoubtedly succeeded. Unlike other restaurants and bars in the area, SK promises to be open until 2 a.m. Monday through Sunday, regardless of any lulls in nightly business. To cap it off, the kitchen stays open all night – great news to Arlington locals looking to quell their pesky late-night cravings.

If you recognize the name, you probably read way too much 1920s American literature. It’s actually an allusion to the first page of Hemingway’s "The Sun Also Rises." The grand meaning behind such an obscure reference? There isn’t one. Freshman and Langman simply thought it was a cool name.

Décor: The dining room is small and cozy, accented with beige walls, black candlelit tables and minimalist art deco décor. It’s hardly the atmosphere you’d expect from a neighborhood bar – unless, of course, that neighborhood is Clarendon. Framed photographs of local graffiti line the walls, all snapped by the restaurant’s General Manager, Ben Freshman.

Food: Though inventive menu offerings like Dr. Pepper Pork Chops and a 10-oz. Coleman Organic NY Strip are enticing, the burgers are what will ultimately attract diners from throughout the Metro area to Spider Kelly’s. All burgers are created a la carte from a cornucopia of ingredient options. You start with the basics: 100% beef, chicken, a Portobello mushroom or the specialty “Spider Kelly Burger” - a half-pound beef patty infused with pork fat ( ...because sometimes a regular burger is just too healthy). Slap that baby between your choice of a Kaiser roll or toasted ciabatta and you’re ready to move on to the fixings.

If ever there was a way of expressing yourself through ground beef and cheese, this is it. Pile on as many complementary toppings as you please: grilled onions, sautéed Portobello mushrooms, lettuce, tomato, pico de gallo – you name it! With so many free toppings, it’s difficult to justify splurging for the $2 “This One Goes to Eleven” add-ons like guacamole and Maytag Dip. I love an arbitrary Spinal Tap reference as much as the next guy, but expecting people to pay an extra 25% for a dab of guac on their burger is a tad excessive.

The massively portioned sides, especially the rosemary and garlic fries and the aptly-named cardiac mac and cheese, make Spider Kelly’s an ideal setting for a 1:30 a.m. binge after a night of heavy drinking. At $6 per heaping plate, you’ll have trouble finding a better deal in the area.

Drinks: There are no beers on tap - a definite down side to the otherwise fully-stocked bar. To their credit, SK makes up for it with a decent wine list (four whites, seven reds) and a selection of twenty bottled beers, including a few hard-to-find microbrews like Dogfish Head and Anchor Steam.

Crowd: As eclectic as the neighborhood: mingling 20-somethings, early 30s young professionals and token old-timers just stopping in for a drink.

Insider Tips: Build your burger with care. Besides the obvious risk of clashing flavors (try to avoid the temptation of a guacamole, feta and pork fat medley), overly-ambitious diners are likely to conjure up a culinary monster that’ll inevitably crumble like the Roman Empire.

As a second tip, consider planning your visit around the nightly happy hour schedule (usually running from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.). If possible, take full advantage of Sunday’s half-priced bottles of wine, Monday’s half-priced burgers or Thursday’s $2 domestic lights.

Service: Everyone loves a joint where the bartender insists on introducing himself the second you take a seat. Service is quick and attentive, and the friendly servers are sufficiently versed in the menu to help you think through your dining decisions.

Sounds: Sticking to the “local bar” motif, the music selection is feel-good and accessible. Mostly a mix of upbeat modern rock and pop. After ten on weekend nights, the volume goes up and the quiet dining room quickly transforms into a bustling lounge.

The Damage: If you come on a Monday night, you can make the most of your coin with a burger and a beer for around 11 bucks. Otherwise, burgers will set you back around $8 (plus any gourmet add-ons), entrees $10-18, and drinks $4-7. Not bad, especially when you consider the area and atmosphere.

Dress Code: Never. This is actually one of the key selling points of the bar – a “come as you are” atmosphere that welcomes everyone regardless of their threads.

Bottom Line: Though its décor gives the impression of a bourgie lounge for arthouse snobs, Spider Kelly’s is a friendly neighborhood dive at heart.

http://dc.metromix.com/restaurants/article/arlingtons-newest-watering-hole/555546/content

Join the mile high club (Fly Lounge review)

To an extent, Dupont Circle’s Fly Lounge is a lot like the act of joining the real mile high club. It is undeniably sexy, steamy and accessible only to a lucky few who get the casual nod. Despite all the hype, the real thing’s probably a bit more cramped than you had anticipated.

Since its debut in 2006, Fly has generated a lot of buzz as one of the most unique and exclusive clubs in the District. Founded by a local DJ-turned-pilot, the lounge is fully immersed in a sleek aviation theme. Fly’s interior is modeled after the cylindrical cabin of a hyper-classy private jet. Beautiful waitresses navigate the crowd in skimpy stewardess uniforms, complete with short skirts, neck scarves and bosom-hugging button-downs with winged lapel pins. Small LCD screens line the walls, displaying lucid images of passing clouds. Tables are even stocked with miniature packs of mixed nuts to complete the feel.

For such a small space (capacity is capped at 120), Fly packs in a surprising amount of energy. The venue’s impressively powerful sound system pulsates an eclectic mix of danceable music, facilitating a kinetic vibe. The DJ spins an engaging blend of house-infused rock, 80s pop, funk and hip-hop, promising to get even the most timid clubbers on the dance floor. Just try standing still when you hear Johnny Cash successfully transition into Kanye. Not possible.

Sound too good to be true? Unfortunately, you can expect to pay for all the frills. There are no drinks in the single digits, and most hover around $13. Bottles range from $250 to $2,800 (yeah, that’s not a typo), making the signature martinis are a relative “bargain” at $14. The roped-off VIP tables may look comfy, but they’re off limits unless you’re willing to shell out $600-$1,500 for a reservation. For true ballers, two private rooms (complete with password-protected bathrooms) can be reserved for a flat two grand.

Fly certainly isn’t for everyone, but that’s kind of the point. As a means of boasting the club’s exclusivity, bouncers unapologetically screen potential patrons at the door. There’s no official cover, but single guys should be prepared to pay $20 on weekends. That is, if you’re lucky enough to get in.

If you’re not used to the scene, here are a couple helpful pointers:

1) Dress to impress. The dress code is chic business casual (no shorts, no sneakers, jeans are fine). Expect your wardrobe decisions to be inspected and latently judged at the door. Ah, the things we put ourselves through to dance in the company of beautiful young professionals.

2) Show up early. Doors open at 10, so if you’re not reserving a table try to get in by 11 on weekend nights. After that, you’re likely to find yourself at the end of an obnoxiously slow line.

3) Pre-party. Fifteen-dollar cocktails certainly take a toll on the old wallet.

4) Bring a posse of attractive women. This obviously isn’t always a possibility, but you’ll have a much better chance of getting in the door. As an added incentive, ladies are always free and the “dude cover” is set at a sliding scale based on the company you keep.

Haters may claim that Fly is trying too hard to keep up with the country’s more notorious club scenes, but you have to give credit where it’s due. At the very least, Fly offers Washingtonians an upscale alternative to the average night out that’s sufficiently hip. Washington’s nightlife may not be quite up to par with New York or LA just yet, but at least places like Fly Lounge keep it in the same ballpark.

http://dc.metromix.com/bars-and-clubs/article/join-the-mile-high/492400/content

The freaks come out at night (Palace of Wonders review)

When you ask most DC residents whether they’ve ever been to the H Street Corridor’s Palace of Wonders, you’re likely to get some rendition of the same response: “No, but I think I’ve heard of it. That’s the freak bar, right?”

Bingo.

Simply labeling the Palace as “unique” is an injustice to freaks everywhere. A “unique” bar has inventive names for its signature cocktails - the Palace is more “unabashedly bizarre.” Nestled in the heart of DC’s most up-and-coming neighborhood, this carnie-inspired nightspot boasts the only vaudeville stage, museum of oddities and full bar in the world (I know – it’s hard to believe that no one else has cashed in on this idea). The bar is decked-out in 1930s carnival décor, presumably swiped from the back of a circus trailer. The walls are covered with vintage posters of traveling carnie acts, enlarged clippings of hilarious headlines from the Weekly World News (apparently Satan’s remains were found in Mexico ten years ago) and display cases overflowing with props and costumes from some of America’s most famous sideshows.

Despite its immediate charm, you can’t fully appreciate the novelty of the Palace of Wonders until you venture upstairs. Here you’ll find the venue’s “Museum of Oddities,” an eclectic collection of gag-inducing monstrosities of nature inherited from Baltimore’s historic Dime Museum. The exhibit’s main attractions include “Fivey,” the adorable freeze-dried corpse of a five-legged show dog, “Spider Kid” the eight-legged lamb, a 20-pound albino rodent and of course, a real Unicorn. A separate showcase stores the infamous “Sea Worm,” which is either a venomous mythological creature preserved off the coast of Samoa or a fifth grader’s paper mache project. Additional oddities are scattered throughout the bar, including the mounted head of “King,” the two-faced bull from New Jersey (obviously).

Given the motif, one would expect the Palace to be reserved for avant-garde Washingtonians and awkward social outcasts. Au contraire. By the time the place fills up, you’ll find yourself in one of the most diverse crowds in the District. Even if you ignore the performances, the Palace promises to keep you entertained with an endless supply of people-watching. Mingling is especially easy here, as the bar itself is an effective conversation starter. You’d be surprised how much people have to say about freaks.

The bartender will insist that the Palace is best known for its martinis, but a quick scan of the room suggests a much more appropriate drink of choice among patrons: an ice cold $3 can of PBR. Staying true to the theme, you can order your favorite carnie fare at the bar all night, including hot dogs, pizza, corn dog bites, chili cheese nachos and popcorn.

The stage is small and awkwardly tucked in the rear of the venue, so it can get a little claustrophobic on show nights. If you can’t wiggle your way to the stage, flat screens are strategically placed on each floor so you don’t have to miss a single pair of pasties. A cozy roof deck supplies a great spot for a mid-show butt break, as long as you’re willing to suffer through the overpowering odor of fish sticks coming from the restaurant next door.

On the third Thursday of each month, the Palace hosts its signature sideshow, “Professor Sprocket’s Weirdo Show.” The show is billed as an “Astounding Assortment of Aberrations of Nature and Culture,” but it’s better described as a good ol’ fashion ta-ta’s and variety show. “The Weirdo Show” combines the sultry sexuality of burlesque, the whimsical hypnotism of fire dancing and the crowd-pleasing kitsch of quirky musical performances. The mastermind behind the event is the delightfully eccentric Professor J. Mathius Sprocket, who doubles as the show’s MC. At times the Professor comes off as a bit over-the-top, but I guess you’d have to expect that given his chosen career path.

This month’s show opened with the tastefully playful burlesque of Sugar Anne Spice. Subsequent acts included two fire dancers (Malibu and Silver Raven), a local juggling and diabolo guru (Randy Early) and a pair of ukulele-strumming beauties (Tippy Canoe and Uni & Her Ukulele).

None of the acts will blow you away, but the spectrum of emotions and sheer absurdity of the show make it well worth the $10 cover. To be honest, Early’s sloppy juggling kind of screamed “local dude with a ton of downtime” and I question the decision to book two separate musical performances for an event advertised as a freak show, but it was a great time nonetheless. The seductive fire dancing of Silver Raven and the catchy ditties of Uni & Her Ukulele were the night’s stand-out performances, especially Uni’s rendering of I’m So Excited.

The Palace of Wonders may not be for everyone, but most creative treasures in this world aren’t. The Palace hosts a different sideshow every weekend night, each promising to take you miles beyond your comfort zone. If you’re in the mood for a titillating deviation from the DC nightlife norm, the Palace has to be at the top of your to-do list. Just be sure to leave your inhibitions at the door.

http://dc.metromix.com/bars-and-clubs/article/the-freaks-come-out/471403/content